His Illness:
When some of the
Fathers visited Fr. Benyamin in his cave they noticed a number of injuries on
his face and he tried to hide these injuries when they were with him. When they
asked him of these severe injuries he replied that it was from the common cold
that he just recently caught. However, they were not convinced and kept
asking him more questions until they found out from him that he was suffering
from severe anemia that needed him to be taken to the hospital immediately.
They carried him to the monastery and exerted great efforts to try to convince
him to agree to be taken to the hospital.
The decision was made for him to be taken to the hospital and later he returned
to the monastery where he awaited the opportunity for his slight improvement so that he can ask them to let him return to his cave. In turn, some of the Fathers did not
permit his moving back to his cave and this bothered him greatly.
For that reason he did not open the door of his cell for any of the Fathers the
visitors, except for the one who brought him his food.
The first time he arrived at the hospital was on Sunday 30/08/1987 for a blood
test, at that time he was in bad condition. They found that the percentage of
hemoglobin in his blood to be 18% which typically is impossible to live with.
He got a blood transfusion at Heliopolis Hospital many times. He underwent many
medical examinations and started to improve greatly but did not succumb to any
kind of pressure. In regard to his food, they pressed him to eat meat but he
would decline right away. When the doctors insisted that he eat, especially meat
to regain his strength since food is natural medicine that can’t be replaced,
he agree to eat but only some potatoes and olives and this meant that he
would double the quantity of food he ate regularly prior to his sickness. Fr. Elisha El-Baramosy confirmed this as he
was the one who accompanied him in his last week.
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| Fr. Benyamin the Hermit |
The
visitors sensed that he spoke with difficulty especially in the beginning where
he would be silent for a while before he started talking to them with the
least amount of words.
When he wanted to return to praying with a low voice he sought the guidance of
his spiritual father which showed the great care the Father gave to his
spiritual life.
In Salam Hospital which he spend his last few days in, he would be bothered by
the crowds of people (visitors who were relatives of hospital patients).
Because of this, he started behaving differently to make them leave his room.
He would begin weeping when this would happen and when those close to him asked
him of his scandalous behavior, they found out that he wasn’t at rest with the behavior
of the visitors (how they flocked to him in crowds).
Some of the Fathers who knew him well said that he received his guests
cheerfully and with joy, but he would end up taking away the time he spent with
them from his sleep so as not to reduce from his rule and struggle.
Despite his great labors near the end of his life, he would pray the Divine
Liturgy standing in all humility and reverence, refusing to receive the Holy
Mysteries on his sickbed and always insisted on attending the liturgy when he
wanted to partake of the Communion saying, “I must live the Eucharistic journey.”
His Warfare with the Devil:
He endured many fights from the demons who tried to make him doubt the path
he has taken. Like everyone else, he suffered, was bothered, and endured grief
and faintheartedness. He told some of the Fathers that many times he felt the
weight of this warfare, as if the devil stood menacingly before him and
sometimes face to face.
He once said that sometimes during prayer he felt as if someone was trying to
shut his mouth to stop him from praying, telling us at other times when he
stood for prayer he
felt as if something was weighing down on him preventing him
from standing. Also, when he felt that his thoughts began to scatter in his mind, as a
result of the demons’ wars he would yell in a loud voice “Liars, liars…” like
how Christ described them, the enemy, the devil the liar and the father of it (John
8:44)... to dispel the war of thoughts.
Some of the Fathers heard him when he was in his cell in the monastery during
the period of his illness, yelling at night in a frightening way, calling for
God and the saints. He lived in the monastery near a blind monk, the monk would
move quietly towards his cell and when he knocked on the door of the cell with
his stick, the demons would disperse and the fight would fade.
